Baby number two is well on the way. It's so close in fact, that I'm a bit freaked out. With nine weeks to go, I feel like I should have done more to prepare.
Or should I have?
Afterall, this is baby number two and I've always been someone who is great at doing something when the second time rolls around. Although, I must say, even my confidence is a bit jarring. But what is amusing, is how "old hat" the second time around is.
I have to be amused with my cockiness in the above few lines as we're now just a couple of days out from a planned C-section. I've been pretty clam throughout the entire pregnancy this go-round. In fact, it has really only been with in the last couple of weeks that the reality has set in. That is not to say, I haven't realize ym second son will be here soon, but that the reality of time set in...as in, it could happen any minute.
What I find surreal about all of this, is that there is that I don't necessarily feel as if I should be on the verge of having my second child. Part of me still feels like that 19-year-old college kid that had life by the balls. Granted, its a great feeling to still feel like you have life my the cojones, but, I've also had life kick me in mine more than a few times.
Perhaps that is why this pregnancy has been so fast and somewhat abstract...too much drama at work. I'm not even sure I can, nor want to get into it, but let's just say, I certainly don;t seem to have a problem with finding my way in to bizarre and stressful situations at work.
For now, I'm just going to try and ease myself head away from work. I have to, because my guilt of caring too much about my job of late, as me feeling somewhat guilty that I haven't paid as much mind to my family. I won't bring up the fact i have to travel for business a couple of weeks after "Pete" is born. I just know that Tracy unwavering support means the most. And that I truly am doing what I am because I want what's best for my family.
So, i just let the excitement build and pray that all goes smoothly on Monday. I'm about ot be a Dad times two. It's a good thing we are stopping after this one because I'm pretty sure my heart would explode. The cliche that being a parents is the best thing you'll have do is that for a reason.
