Frustrations...

A lot of people define themselves by their careers. I've never thought of myself as one of those people, but do realize there is a big part of me that wants to succeed. Too often I worry it makes me lose sight of the bigger picture...my family.

Nate is almost three and half and in keeping with the truth behind cliche's, he's growing up fast. Parenting is tough and there really is no understanding until you do it. For me, it really exposes one of biggest flaws -- well, two -- my lack of patience and my short temper. This is only exasperated by the stress my job brings. Toss in the fact I've been searching for a new gig for over six months now, and I'm often on edge a lot. I'm cognizant of this fact, but too often, it means little in real-time situations.

I need to chill-out and really get better on prioritizing. Things need to change and I need to make it happen. Too often I vacillate between thinking I;m not doing enough, and actually not doing enough...it leads to too much turmoil in my head. I need to take charge. But, then again, haven't I been saying this for years. Things need to change and I really have to stop being such a self-loathing, selfish asshole.