Nearly six months after my last post and I'm pleased to report I'm still a self-loathing asshole. I wish I could find a way to recognize in real-time when life is starting to kick me in the nuts. But, if could I suppose things would be much easier than they are.
Shit seems to be falling apart around me to the point I'm not even sure what is real anymore. Life just gets more complicated...no revelation there, but shit, I look at the heartache and toughs time that seem to surround myself, my family and my friends and I just don't know what to do. If I could have no wish, it would be for life to just slow down. I want to time to not just think about what's going on around, but to enjoy what's happening in the now. I hate the everything is rushed. And I hate that I can't slow it down and hate even more that I seem to perpetuate everything. I hate that I've used the word hate so much in the last minute.
Fuck...just a bad week I guess. I just want more control. And I want to be able to get my priorities straight. I want to be selfless. Fuck me...
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